Back to the Carolinas: 1st year in CLT reflection

The Truth can hurt you but the Truth can change you also.

-Kirk Franklin

      On November 1st, 2015, it will be 1 year since I packed my bags, gave away furniture and household items and move in with oldest brother and his family here in CLT.

This last year has been an experience. A interesting one, I think. I learned so much, became sure about a lot, confuse about a lot, gave up on few people and I have felt truly blessed.

• What I have learned about myself: Sometimes, I' m not a nice person. I can be a bit passive aggressive and judgmental. My preconceived notions, bias, and assumptions at times clouds my ability to see things as they are. Also, I do hurt people, although never intentional but I do hurt people nonetheless. Some of the hurts that I have cause can never be forgotten nor remedy. The same way I feel about people, others feel the same about me.
• What I have learned about others: Not everything is as it seemed. You can never truly know someone. People will hurt you. You will be betray by others but every negative experience you have will be for your good. Not everyone will be truthful. Not every person on TV/Newspaper accused of a crime is guilty or a bad person. The people that will help you in your darkest time will be strangers or someone deemed bad by society. The people by your side AREN'T always on your side.
• Regrets: I don't have any at this time because I have spent the entire year over thinking and analyzing every word I have spoken and actions that I have taken that I feel that I have done all I could do.
• Friendships: Through evaluating some friendships that I hold dear, and I realized that I don't really know those I hold dear and my feelings for them is not the same feelings they have for me. Also, I have not been there for others so it is not all their faults.
• New changes: I like dressing up, trying on clothes and putting on make up. I have never cared nor put much thought in my appearances in the past but since I've been here, I' am buying make up, and actually putting them on and caring about what I wear.
• New Interest: I'm slowly as in taking tiny steps in learning about fashion. I'm trying to change my diet regime. This is very hard since I' m African and not everything we cook is "healthy." Also, I' m interested in fitness as a whole. I've been a runner since high school but I never cared about the other aspect of fitness. I just thought if I ran then all will be good. But now, after knee injuries and chronic hip pains, I' am force to learn about other exercise/fitness things I can do to keep a little pressure off my legs. I now run every other day now for 4 miles instead of everyday for 6-10 miles.  Hopefully, I will sign up for swimming lesson.
• Family: I truly have a wonderful and loving family. They have put up with so much of my B.S. and gave me nothing but kindness. I truly need to give them more of my TIME.
• Recap: I drove interstate from CLT to ATL by myself. I'm working in an environment that I enjoy
• What I hope to accomplish next year: I hope to be fully engage in the two projects that I will be committing to. I want to travel more.
• What have gotten worse: my weight. I gained almost 20 pounds since I moved here...that's a no no....My distaste for certain issue and two faced people. I haven't done devotion in a long time nor daily bible reading.

~xoxo